Dr. Douchebag's Recycled Holiday Fruitcake

Like a fruitcake from last year no one wants to eat or a crappy rerun of a kid's holiday classic (think Frosty the Snowman) no one wants to watch, Caric regurgitates his incisive essay published in the Lexington Herald-Leader last Christmas comparing the relative merits of Jesus vs. Santa Claus. Yaawwnnnn!!

http://red-state.blogspot.com/2007/12/why-i-like-santa-better-than-jesus.html

Puerile, attention-seeking claptrap. But Ricky Ric seems to believe that he has conceived a brilliant, original insight. This is his idea of "scholarship," after all. Makes one think his brains are in his ass, doesn't it?

Ricky Ric was then so proud of himself because some toothless, Bible-thumping hillbilly wrote a letter of protest to the Morehead rag that no one reads. His essay had served its purpose!

So hoping for an encore to all the outrage he generated last year (snark), he reposts his silly essay again.

It's interesting to note that while he views himself as a champion of the downtrodden people of eastern Kentucky, he's openly contemptuous of their beliefs.

Does the irony dawn on him? Mnnyaaaaahhh!!

Douchebag.

Narcissism Masquerading as Sorrow

Even when he professes (pardon the pun) grief for a fallen colleague, Dr. Mmmnnyaaaaha can't help but make it all about himself. After all, he is the center of the universe, right?

http://red-state.blogspot.com/2007/12/some-quick-thoughts-on-greg-goldey.html

The post above is a low even for someone as clueless and narcissistic as Caric. It takes self-centered navel-gazing to such a new level that even I'm shocked (but not terribly surprised).

Poor widdle Wicky Wic's tootsies got cold in the Buddhist center, and all that incense made his widdle nose aww schtuffy. Awwwwww!! And BTW, he thinks Buddhism is stupid, but he'll generously condescend to endure the ceremony anyway for his friend. What a standup guy Ricky Ric is!! We should all be duly impressed!

I guess it really is all about him. Douchebag.

Cleo

Prof. Douchebag's Affirmative Action Program for Crackheads

The crackhead's on the left. The douchebag is, of course, on the right.

What do they have to do with each other?

Weelllll...Dr. Douchebag actively recruited and was instrumental in the hiring of said crackhead--all in the name of "diversity."

It didn't matter that she was nowhere near finishing her dissertation--she was a black woman. Ric Ric practically peed himself when she signed the dotted line. He was so proud of himself!!!

She arrives on the campus with great fanfare, and wows everyone with her attention-grabbing "service" antics promoting causes that no one in eastern Kentucky gives a rat's ass about (e.g., Darfur). The students love her because she required no work other than that they "get in touch with their feelings." All style, no substance.

Nevermind that she had done nothing on her dissertation. Nevermind that her committee sent her back to the drawing board. Nevermind that she taught fewer classes than other junior faculty and had only one prep. Her shit didn't stink! And more importantly, she's a black woman!!

This all came crashing down on poor Ric Ric's head this past Sunday, when she was arrested for child endangerment. You see, her 2-month old baby tested positive for cocaine. Don't take my word for it, here's the press:

http://www.herald-dispatch.com/homepage/x2054228606

Believe it or not, I don't hold any ill will against her. She was used as a tool by Caric to promote his standing in his department and, of course, to stoke his massive self-congratulatory ego. He really didn't give a shit about her. Although she allowed herself to be used, I wish her and her family the best.

What this whole fucked up situation brings to light once again is Caric's monumental hubris and hypocrisy.

I get to sit back, pop popcorn, and watch Caric try to spin his way out of this.

So, what say you, Ric Ric?

Nyyuhumm??

Yes, I Have Seen a Pompous Douchebag...

and his name is Caric. He now seems to think that he is the resident poet laureate of Morehead, KY.

Read this awe-inspiring garbage to get a sublime feel for--rain.

http://red-state.blogspot.com/2007/10/yes-i-have-seen-rain.html

Makes me want to light a match...

Introducing the President of Dr. Douchebag's Fanclub--Timmeh!!!

For some unexplained reason, timb (a.k.a., timmeh) thinks I'm the alter-ego of someone named Pablo or Pacho over at this irrelevant wingnut blog called "Protein Wisdom" (really guys--after Craig, Bob Allen, Foley, and Haggard you should change your blog's name to something else that doesn't conjure up mental images of semen).

I have to wonder if any of Ric Ric's online buddies like timmeh know him personally, and if they don't, what they would think of him if they actually met him. The thought amuses me a little.

Anyhoo, I'm content to let timmeh think what he wants. Like I've said before, ridiculing Caric is just a side interest of mine which is attached to a longstanding personal vendetta against him. Nothing more.

If timmeh wants to get in the middle of it, I will be more than happy to poke holes in his fragile little ego too.

You see, this is just a game to me.

Cleo

To All Defenders and Disciples of Prof. Douchebag

My beef is not with you, it is with the douchebag

pictured to the right.

My beef with Ric Ric has nothing whatsoever to do with his politics. I couldn't care less about that.

It is entirely personal.

However, if you want to insert yourselves in the middle of it (looking at you--Brad and timmy), there's nothing I can do to stop you.

Unlike Dr. Nyyaaahhmmmn, I'm not a hypocrite or a coward. Your posts won't be deleted. Know this, though--you will be cut down in the crossfire.

Best to stay out it, don't you think?

Let Ricky prove he's either a big boy or a pussy. (Psst! It's the latter.) Let him defend himself.

Yours truly,

Cleo

I'm baaaaaaaaaaacckkk!

Truth is I never went away. I've just been too busy lately to indulge publicly in the kinda-fun hobby of ridiculing Prof. Douchebag. Turns out others are piling on as well. It's looks like Ric Ric has pissed off the wrong group of wingnuts, and they are relentless in calling him on his hyperbolic bullshit on his blog.

I'm still lurking though. And anything that he posts on his irrelevant blog will be fodder for ridicule on this blog and in the comments section of Caric's blog.

It should be fun. Stay tuned!

Next, on "To Catch a Predator"--Grown-Up Douchebags with Harry Potter Books

One of the many things that the douchebag pictured to the right fancies himself an expert on (cough! cough!) is Harry Potter. Leaving aside the issue of how pathetic it is for a grown man to expound on his blog about a fictitious teenage wizard, it's just plain creepy. Even by Caric standards.

http://red-state.blogspot.com/2007/07/wild-card-in-harry-potter-deck.html

http://red-state.blogspot.com/2007/06/severus-snape-puts-stopper-on-death.html

So Ric Ric gives me this golden opportunity to publicly ridicule him. I would be remiss if I didn't take him up on it (which I did on his site, but he will most likely delete my comment later this afternoon). Here goes my parody:

Next, on "To Catch a Predator."

(Chris Hansen voiceover) Our hidden camera catches a disheveled govt professor armed with the latest Harry Potter book and a box of Trojans...

He claims he just wants to discuss the book with a 13-year-old boy, but then why the condoms and Mike's Hard Lemonade?

(Caric walks into kitchen of empty house with a grocery bag and a Harry Potter book)

CARIC (to fictitious 13 year old off camera): ...Mmyaaha! I think this new book really--ummm!--explores the hidden homoerotic dimensions to the relationship between Ron and Harry, and--ummmm!-- between Voldemort and Snape...it really--ummm!--calls into question our notions of---nyyumm!--masculinity...

(in walks Chris Hansen, with a camera crew behind him)

CARIC: Nyyaaa, oh boy!

HANSEN: Why don't you have a seat there and tell me what you're doing.

CARIC: Nyaha! Just having a discussion of the latest Harry Potter book.

(with eyebrows raised incredulously) HANSEN: With a 13 year old boy? At home alone? With a six pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade?

CARIC: Ummm! Nnyaha!

HANSEN: Well, we have your chat log here. You are "drknowitall," right?

CARIC: Um!

(reading aloud from the chat log with a look of disgust etched on his face) HANSEN: "drknowitall: let's get 2gether and measure each other's magic wands. see if they are bigger than Harry's. ;)

horny13: lol. kewl

drknowitall: do ya think Harry likes the feel of that broomstick in his crotch? :)

horny13: i know i do! lol!

drknowitall: me 2!"

HANSEN: So this was just a literary conversation?

CARIC: Ummmm!! Is someone microwaving popcorn here? I'm starting to break out in hives.

HANSEN: You're a professor of government, a parent of two underage daughters. What were you thinking?

CARIC: Aahhmm. Nnnyyaha!

Picture the rest for yourself...

What's My Beef with Ric Ric?

In the comments section of the previous post, "retro_liberal" asked me why I have an axe to grind against the douchebag pictured to the right.

It's a fair question to ask, but one that I can't answer directly with specifics without divulging clues as to my identity.

So in lieu of listing my specific grievances against Ric Ric, I will list a set of adjectives describing Ric Ric so you can fill in the blanks for yourself. Think of it as stream-of-consciousness game, if you will. Here goes:

Arrogant. Pompous. Tedious. Self-Important. Duplicitous. Guileful. Hypocritical. Condescending. Dilettante. Cowardly. Untrustworthy. Manipulative. Annoying. Passive-Aggressive. MEDIOCRE.

This is a good start, but I'm sure it's not exhaustive. If I have left anything out that anyone else can think of, please feel free to add your own Ricky Ric-specific adjectives in the comments section. Mnnyyaaaahaa?

Political Scientist? Historian? Neither?

It seems Ric Ric still can't make up his mind as to whether he is an historian or a political scientist.

http://red-state.blogspot.com/2007/06/rsi-goes-to-philly.html

More likely, though, it's that he believes he's so smart that he's actually both. Ricky Ric likes to fancy himself as the resident Renaissance Man of the GGH Dept. at Morehead State. An expert on everything, if you will.

What the rest of us refer to as a "dilletante" in polite company, while we roll our eyes and snicker at him behind his back.

In not-so-polite company, we just say he's a "pompous douchebag."

Little Ricky's Thin Skin and Massive Ego

Seems Ricky Ric can't deal with being called on his own bullshit. That's why he deletes not just my comments, but also the comments of anyone else who knows him and points out his hypocrisy and arrogance to him (albeit in ways nicer than I would).

Pitiful.

Horse-Choking Hypocrisy from Ricky Ric

In today's blathering blog post, Ricky Ric chides Christopher Hitchens for being an arrogant prick for arguing that atheists know better than Christians.

http://red-state.blogspot.com/2007/06/how-to-be-atheist-and-arrogant-prick.html

Whatever.

Funny thing is that anyone who has ever spent any amount of time dealing with or interacting with Caric could easily accuse him of harboring the same biases that he chastises Hitchens for having. Only with Ricky Ric, he hides his condescension and disdain for the Bible-thumping yokels around him with a thin veneer of scholarly detachment. It is, after all, his sacred duty to "enlighten" them. Well, at least Hitchens is honest.

Really Ric, look in the mirror. You just might see that wooden board jutting out of your eye.

Ric Ric the Plagiarist?

If so, it makes him a hypocrite to boot given the way he goes after his students for the same academic sin.

Compare the captions of these two posts, one on Douchebag's blog and the other on Dailykos:

http://red-state.blogspot.com/2007/05/blank-check-is-ready-to-arrive.html

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2007/5/21/17842/4957

What do you have to say for yourself, Ric Ric? Ummmmmm!! Nnyaahaaa?

From the "Do Bears Shit in the Woods?" Department

Caric's latest earth-shattering research concerns the burning question of which sex killed Jesus.

After several pages of unoriginal verbal diarrhea, he comes to the shocking conclusion that it was--hold onto your seats, now!--men who killed Jesus. Who woulda thunk it?

This must be why Caric believes he's the greatest thinker ever to darken the doors of the intellectually-destitute Morehead State University. Who else there can examine the most obvious questions and come to such obvious conclusions?

Next on his "research" agenda--"Water: Is It Wet?"

Douchebag

Here he is:

Ummmm!! Nyaahaa!