Yes, I Have Seen a Pompous Douchebag...

and his name is Caric. He now seems to think that he is the resident poet laureate of Morehead, KY.

Read this awe-inspiring garbage to get a sublime feel for--rain.

http://red-state.blogspot.com/2007/10/yes-i-have-seen-rain.html

Makes me want to light a match...

Introducing the President of Dr. Douchebag's Fanclub--Timmeh!!!

For some unexplained reason, timb (a.k.a., timmeh) thinks I'm the alter-ego of someone named Pablo or Pacho over at this irrelevant wingnut blog called "Protein Wisdom" (really guys--after Craig, Bob Allen, Foley, and Haggard you should change your blog's name to something else that doesn't conjure up mental images of semen).

I have to wonder if any of Ric Ric's online buddies like timmeh know him personally, and if they don't, what they would think of him if they actually met him. The thought amuses me a little.

Anyhoo, I'm content to let timmeh think what he wants. Like I've said before, ridiculing Caric is just a side interest of mine which is attached to a longstanding personal vendetta against him. Nothing more.

If timmeh wants to get in the middle of it, I will be more than happy to poke holes in his fragile little ego too.

You see, this is just a game to me.

Cleo

To All Defenders and Disciples of Prof. Douchebag

My beef is not with you, it is with the douchebag

pictured to the right.

My beef with Ric Ric has nothing whatsoever to do with his politics. I couldn't care less about that.

It is entirely personal.

However, if you want to insert yourselves in the middle of it (looking at you--Brad and timmy), there's nothing I can do to stop you.

Unlike Dr. Nyyaaahhmmmn, I'm not a hypocrite or a coward. Your posts won't be deleted. Know this, though--you will be cut down in the crossfire.

Best to stay out it, don't you think?

Let Ricky prove he's either a big boy or a pussy. (Psst! It's the latter.) Let him defend himself.

Yours truly,

Cleo

I'm baaaaaaaaaaacckkk!

Truth is I never went away. I've just been too busy lately to indulge publicly in the kinda-fun hobby of ridiculing Prof. Douchebag. Turns out others are piling on as well. It's looks like Ric Ric has pissed off the wrong group of wingnuts, and they are relentless in calling him on his hyperbolic bullshit on his blog.

I'm still lurking though. And anything that he posts on his irrelevant blog will be fodder for ridicule on this blog and in the comments section of Caric's blog.

It should be fun. Stay tuned!

Next, on "To Catch a Predator"--Grown-Up Douchebags with Harry Potter Books

One of the many things that the douchebag pictured to the right fancies himself an expert on (cough! cough!) is Harry Potter. Leaving aside the issue of how pathetic it is for a grown man to expound on his blog about a fictitious teenage wizard, it's just plain creepy. Even by Caric standards.

http://red-state.blogspot.com/2007/07/wild-card-in-harry-potter-deck.html

http://red-state.blogspot.com/2007/06/severus-snape-puts-stopper-on-death.html

So Ric Ric gives me this golden opportunity to publicly ridicule him. I would be remiss if I didn't take him up on it (which I did on his site, but he will most likely delete my comment later this afternoon). Here goes my parody:

Next, on "To Catch a Predator."

(Chris Hansen voiceover) Our hidden camera catches a disheveled govt professor armed with the latest Harry Potter book and a box of Trojans...

He claims he just wants to discuss the book with a 13-year-old boy, but then why the condoms and Mike's Hard Lemonade?

(Caric walks into kitchen of empty house with a grocery bag and a Harry Potter book)

CARIC (to fictitious 13 year old off camera): ...Mmyaaha! I think this new book really--ummm!--explores the hidden homoerotic dimensions to the relationship between Ron and Harry, and--ummmm!-- between Voldemort and Snape...it really--ummm!--calls into question our notions of---nyyumm!--masculinity...

(in walks Chris Hansen, with a camera crew behind him)

CARIC: Nyyaaa, oh boy!

HANSEN: Why don't you have a seat there and tell me what you're doing.

CARIC: Nyaha! Just having a discussion of the latest Harry Potter book.

(with eyebrows raised incredulously) HANSEN: With a 13 year old boy? At home alone? With a six pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade?

CARIC: Ummm! Nnyaha!

HANSEN: Well, we have your chat log here. You are "drknowitall," right?

CARIC: Um!

(reading aloud from the chat log with a look of disgust etched on his face) HANSEN: "drknowitall: let's get 2gether and measure each other's magic wands. see if they are bigger than Harry's. ;)

horny13: lol. kewl

drknowitall: do ya think Harry likes the feel of that broomstick in his crotch? :)

horny13: i know i do! lol!

drknowitall: me 2!"

HANSEN: So this was just a literary conversation?

CARIC: Ummmm!! Is someone microwaving popcorn here? I'm starting to break out in hives.

HANSEN: You're a professor of government, a parent of two underage daughters. What were you thinking?

CARIC: Aahhmm. Nnnyyaha!

Picture the rest for yourself...

What's My Beef with Ric Ric?

In the comments section of the previous post, "retro_liberal" asked me why I have an axe to grind against the douchebag pictured to the right.

It's a fair question to ask, but one that I can't answer directly with specifics without divulging clues as to my identity.

So in lieu of listing my specific grievances against Ric Ric, I will list a set of adjectives describing Ric Ric so you can fill in the blanks for yourself. Think of it as stream-of-consciousness game, if you will. Here goes:

Arrogant. Pompous. Tedious. Self-Important. Duplicitous. Guileful. Hypocritical. Condescending. Dilettante. Cowardly. Untrustworthy. Manipulative. Annoying. Passive-Aggressive. MEDIOCRE.

This is a good start, but I'm sure it's not exhaustive. If I have left anything out that anyone else can think of, please feel free to add your own Ricky Ric-specific adjectives in the comments section. Mnnyyaaaahaa?

Political Scientist? Historian? Neither?

It seems Ric Ric still can't make up his mind as to whether he is an historian or a political scientist.

http://red-state.blogspot.com/2007/06/rsi-goes-to-philly.html

More likely, though, it's that he believes he's so smart that he's actually both. Ricky Ric likes to fancy himself as the resident Renaissance Man of the GGH Dept. at Morehead State. An expert on everything, if you will.

What the rest of us refer to as a "dilletante" in polite company, while we roll our eyes and snicker at him behind his back.

In not-so-polite company, we just say he's a "pompous douchebag."